I'll tell you how Wendy Williams is doin': not good.
In fact, she was just awful and lacked any personality in her debut on tonight's kickoff of Dancing with the Stars.
The busty talk show host attempted to Cha Cha Cha with her partner Tony Dovolani in what was hands down an absolute train wreck.
They reportedly practiced five hours a day. (if you can believe that) I'm sure most of that time Williams was luxuriating while trying on skimpy and shimmering costumes.
I don't think even 10 hours of practice a day would have changed the results of the judges, who gave the couple a score of 14 out of 30.
"You need to unleash the beast next time," said judge Carrie Ann Inabe.
Judge Len Goodman couldn't keep his eyes off Williams' exploding upper body.
"You got your dumplings boiling over!" he said, before handing them a four out of 10.
"You have to bring your personality out onto this floor!" he scolded the over-the-top talk show host. "Show us you!"
Next week, Williams will take on the quick step.
We'll see if she can improve. I certainly hope so.
If nothing else, she makes the show interesting, especially when she cried and wiped her tears with her heavyweight weave.
In the meantime, she's not offering any excuses.
"I did the best that I could for this week," she said.